Student Writing 4-Nick H.
When someone is lost
you feel empty
you feel sorrow
you feel as if the entire world should be filled with grief
when someone is lost
you want to do nothing more than ball up and do nothing
when someone is lost
know that they are in a better place
know that God is taking care of them
-Nick H.
October 25th, 2009 at 6:55 pm
Nick,
This is really good. I see nothing that needs to be changed. Good Job.
Sam
October 25th, 2009 at 7:23 pm
Nick,
Lol i enjoyed this writing it was well written and easy to comprehend. An improvement to be made might be to lengthen the story a bit more.
Deep man deep
Thanks,
Riley
October 26th, 2009 at 9:33 am
this is really good, make sure you add a title and maybe add a little more to make sure you get full credit.
October 26th, 2009 at 10:06 am
nick-
this poem is really good. I enjoyed reading it! You expressed your feelings and it was BEAUTIFUL! Good job!!!
- Anna T
October 26th, 2009 at 10:11 am
That was a very meaning full poem. But I agree with Riley, You could make it a little longer.
Christina
October 26th, 2009 at 10:42 am
this is great, there are no errors.